when im with him i am thinking of you

ok so heres the update..ive been back in contact with matt and for some reason completely fell..i didnt tell him that tho..i just told him i hadnt been attracted to a guy in over a year untill i started to talk to him...he was atually supposed to come up today but he never showed...im really hurt over that..i started crying..crying for god sakes....andi cant call him for some reason his phone wont work..and he hasnt called me or bothered to call and say hey..im not showing..fuck that man..i met some new awesome friends..leah,paul and jeremy...jeremy likes me tho but nothing really clicks..but once matt told me he wasnt into me i said what the hell..lets give this guy a try..but when im with him all im thinking of is matt. wtf its so wrong but i cant stop...i dont understand i dont...and the fucked up thing is that in highschool matt was like inlove with me and now that i am into him its like..wtf ever..yeah im always second best...as many times as ive been thru this shit ud think itd hurt less..it hurts more and more.....i wish hed call me..if he really caqres like he says he wouldnt leave me hangin...but who knows...